Feeling the loneliness

Is of no surprise to anyone that I feel alone most of the time. And that this feeling has been with me most of my life.

I am also a deeply jealous person: I do not like to 'share', not even an inch, of the love and attention of my love interests. I want them for me, just me. I want to be just me the one who can feel them, touch them, take their scents with me.

And since I am not able to keep them just for me, I have to deal with my inner deception and rage.

But I am also attached to my own freedom and despise whoever wants to tie me up.

I feel as a constant wreck, living in a dual and opposed feeling of grab and release.

What can I do?