Why bother...?

Why bother talking when you cannot make peace with yourself?

You don't even want to acknowledge that you are in the gutter, and despite looking up desperately, there is no light, not even a tiny beam, that feels will pull you out of there.

I feel I've failed all my life.

Constantly falling off the wagon... constantly falling asleep crying my eyes out, with a scream stuck in my throat.... and it hurts!

It always hurts like hell.

Why bother to even look up?